Glasses of "lemonade" consumed: 8
Length of time to drink quart of saltwater: 5 minutes
Length of time between completion of salt water consumption and 1st trip to the bathroom: 20 minutes
Number of bowel movements: 5
Number of random objects expelled during said bowel movements: nothing, and I'm getting frustrated
Weight lost since previous day: 0.6
Total weight lost: 6.0 lbs.
Today was a new experience for me. I was awoken early this morning by some stomach cramps. I decided not to tempt falling back asleep and crapping in the bed, only to wake up in it 30 minutes later. It looks like the senna tea finally kicked in. I couldn't even mix my salt water before I was in the bathroom. The senna tea is known to cause cramping, so I like to imagine that there's a bowel battle going on inside of me. There was even a little bit of solid (and by that I mean semi-solid) material. Progress.
I felt a little tired today and felt like my stomach was empty for the first time so far. I also developed a gassy feeling later in the day. There's no pootin' going on, only the feeling of air bubbles moving around inside. I'm expecting it to get backed up and provide me with quite a show in the morning. Our toilet doesn't have handles, but I might wish that it did tomorrow. There's no drain installed in our bathroom floor so any explosions cannot be solved with some Dawn and a hose.
5 days down and 5 to go. If I can get through the weekend I think I'll be okay. Happy Halloween.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Day 4, 10/30/08
Glasses of "lemonade" consumed: 9
Length of time to drink quart of saltwater: 3 minutes
Length of time between completion of salt water consumption and 1st trip to the bathroom: 6 minutes
Number of bowel movements: 5
Number of random objects expelled during said bowel movements: still nothing
Weight lost since previous day: 0.4
Total weight lost: 5.4 lbs.
Nothing too exciting today. I had a few cravings for food but no real thoughts of eating it because I'm just not hungry. Maybe the most important thing I'll take away from this is how to eat normal portions. I'm not usually a 3 meals a day type of person because I can't eat that much food. However, when I do eat I tend to eat more than comfortably fits in my stomach. I'll continue to eat once my hunger is satiated because I enjoy the taste of food so much. I also eat so quickly much of the time that my stomach is full before my brain knows it, thus the over consumption.
We'll see if I can make it through Halloween without an Almond Joy sneaking its way into my mouth.
Length of time to drink quart of saltwater: 3 minutes
Length of time between completion of salt water consumption and 1st trip to the bathroom: 6 minutes
Number of bowel movements: 5
Number of random objects expelled during said bowel movements: still nothing
Weight lost since previous day: 0.4
Total weight lost: 5.4 lbs.
Nothing too exciting today. I had a few cravings for food but no real thoughts of eating it because I'm just not hungry. Maybe the most important thing I'll take away from this is how to eat normal portions. I'm not usually a 3 meals a day type of person because I can't eat that much food. However, when I do eat I tend to eat more than comfortably fits in my stomach. I'll continue to eat once my hunger is satiated because I enjoy the taste of food so much. I also eat so quickly much of the time that my stomach is full before my brain knows it, thus the over consumption.
We'll see if I can make it through Halloween without an Almond Joy sneaking its way into my mouth.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Day 3, 10/29/08
Glasses of "lemonade" consumed: 9
Length of time to drink quart of saltwater: 3 minutes
Length of time between completion of salt water consumption and 1st trip to the bathroom: 3 minutes
Number of bowel movements: 3
Number of random objects expelled during said bowel movements: still nothing
Weight lost since previous day: 1.4
Total weight lost: 5 lbs.
Relatively easy day. I'm becoming a pro at chugging saltwater. I won't be able to turn pro until I stop gagging though. 3 minutes is a good time though, both going in and going out.
There was a little more "substance" in the movements today. More than yesterday, but that's not saying much. There were testimonials in the book where people said they'd gone a few days with nothing and then stuff magically appeared. I guess that some crap is better at hiding than others. That, or it takes a while to start breaking down all of the stuff that's built up inside your intestines.
I was craving food a little tonight but that probably had something to do with the fact that Helen was watching Top Chef on the food network. A piece of steak was sounding really good then.
I'm considering adding a new stat to the list, number of times that I pee. Man, I have to average at least once an hour that I'm awake at a minimum. Sometimes I'm even waking up in the night to go, which I never do. And these aren't "oh, I should probably go pee" pees. These are "I gotta go right now" pees. So far I haven't wet my pants, but with 7 days left anything is possible.
I should also clarify one thing about the timing of my "toxin eliminations"; almost all of them occur within the first hour or two of me being awake. The first one occurs pretty soon after I finish the saltwater flush and the second one occurs shortly after that. I sit around all afternoon and evening with no pooping to do. So sad.
Length of time to drink quart of saltwater: 3 minutes
Length of time between completion of salt water consumption and 1st trip to the bathroom: 3 minutes
Number of bowel movements: 3
Number of random objects expelled during said bowel movements: still nothing
Weight lost since previous day: 1.4
Total weight lost: 5 lbs.
Relatively easy day. I'm becoming a pro at chugging saltwater. I won't be able to turn pro until I stop gagging though. 3 minutes is a good time though, both going in and going out.
There was a little more "substance" in the movements today. More than yesterday, but that's not saying much. There were testimonials in the book where people said they'd gone a few days with nothing and then stuff magically appeared. I guess that some crap is better at hiding than others. That, or it takes a while to start breaking down all of the stuff that's built up inside your intestines.
I was craving food a little tonight but that probably had something to do with the fact that Helen was watching Top Chef on the food network. A piece of steak was sounding really good then.
I'm considering adding a new stat to the list, number of times that I pee. Man, I have to average at least once an hour that I'm awake at a minimum. Sometimes I'm even waking up in the night to go, which I never do. And these aren't "oh, I should probably go pee" pees. These are "I gotta go right now" pees. So far I haven't wet my pants, but with 7 days left anything is possible.
I should also clarify one thing about the timing of my "toxin eliminations"; almost all of them occur within the first hour or two of me being awake. The first one occurs pretty soon after I finish the saltwater flush and the second one occurs shortly after that. I sit around all afternoon and evening with no pooping to do. So sad.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Day 2, 10/28/08
Glasses of "lemonade" consumed: 9
Length of time to drink quart of saltwater: 7 minutes
Length of time between completion of salt water consumption and 1st trip to the bathroom: 5 minutes
Number of bowel movements: 5
Number of random objects expelled during said bowel movements: 0, but still hoping
Pounds lost from previous day: 2.4
Today was a pretty easy day. The saltwater was not as bad this morning, as evidenced by cutting my consumption time down by more than half. That doesn't mean that it's good though. My quick consumption also led to some quick excretion. I was ready to go before I even finished my salt water. Tempting fate by trying to control your bowels whilst drinking saltwater is something that I should probably never try again. Helen cleans up enough crap at work, so I highly doubt she'd be up for me waking her up to clean up me and my explosion on the floor. Knowing my luck, Butters would be dumb enough to come roll in it.
I started drinking my lemonade 2 doses at a time. I assume that this is legit because it's more about how many ounces you drink per day and not the individual servings, if that makes sense. You're supposed to average about 1 ounce of lemonade per 2 pounds of body weight. It is recommended to space them out so that you don't get hungry throughout the day. The multiple dose game plan accomplishes two things. First, it allows me to not feel full of liquid all day long. I can knock out two doses and give my stomach and bladder time to pass it. And pass it they do. Second, I don't have to spend as much time juicing lemons. When you have cats that like to scratch and bite, lemon juice on your wounded hands does not feel good.
No acid reflux today, but if I burp I taste cayenne pepper. Strenuous activity will still be delayed until my body gets used to it.
If day 3, which is supposed to be a bad one like day 2, is like today, then it should be a cakewalk. I know that it sounds like I'm showboating with 8 days left, but I feel like a guy with a flaming anus deserves a little slack. The book says that "hot" bowel movements are the toxins being expelled. It sure would be more comfortable if they were cool like a peppermint. Unfortunately, I'll have to settle for flaming bile.
Length of time to drink quart of saltwater: 7 minutes
Length of time between completion of salt water consumption and 1st trip to the bathroom: 5 minutes
Number of bowel movements: 5
Number of random objects expelled during said bowel movements: 0, but still hoping
Pounds lost from previous day: 2.4
Today was a pretty easy day. The saltwater was not as bad this morning, as evidenced by cutting my consumption time down by more than half. That doesn't mean that it's good though. My quick consumption also led to some quick excretion. I was ready to go before I even finished my salt water. Tempting fate by trying to control your bowels whilst drinking saltwater is something that I should probably never try again. Helen cleans up enough crap at work, so I highly doubt she'd be up for me waking her up to clean up me and my explosion on the floor. Knowing my luck, Butters would be dumb enough to come roll in it.
I started drinking my lemonade 2 doses at a time. I assume that this is legit because it's more about how many ounces you drink per day and not the individual servings, if that makes sense. You're supposed to average about 1 ounce of lemonade per 2 pounds of body weight. It is recommended to space them out so that you don't get hungry throughout the day. The multiple dose game plan accomplishes two things. First, it allows me to not feel full of liquid all day long. I can knock out two doses and give my stomach and bladder time to pass it. And pass it they do. Second, I don't have to spend as much time juicing lemons. When you have cats that like to scratch and bite, lemon juice on your wounded hands does not feel good.
No acid reflux today, but if I burp I taste cayenne pepper. Strenuous activity will still be delayed until my body gets used to it.
If day 3, which is supposed to be a bad one like day 2, is like today, then it should be a cakewalk. I know that it sounds like I'm showboating with 8 days left, but I feel like a guy with a flaming anus deserves a little slack. The book says that "hot" bowel movements are the toxins being expelled. It sure would be more comfortable if they were cool like a peppermint. Unfortunately, I'll have to settle for flaming bile.
Day 1, 10/27/08
Glasses of "lemonade" consumed: 8
Length of time to drink quart of saltwater: 15 minutes
Length of time between completion of salt water consumption and 1st trip to the bathroom: 20 minutes
Number of bowel movements: 4
Pounds lost from previous day: 1.2
One day down, nine to go. The day started with the delightful quart of saltwater. I don't like drinking things when I wake up. I really don't like drinking water when I wake up. I emphatically don't like drinking a quart of saltwater when I wake up. I only gagged a few times and managed to finish the entire amount. 20 minutes later I was off to the bathroom.
I'm going to have to wake up a little earlier than usual so that the majority of my bathroom visits will be completed before the market opens up. The last thing I want to happen is to have to choose between watching my stock positions and going to the bathroom. The market is so crazy in the first few minutes that lots of money can be made or lost in a very short time. I would prefer to be at peace while sitting on the toilet, eliminating toxins and waste.
The "lemonade" mixture does not taste that great. The layer of flavors tastes like a poorly mixed michelada. First you taste the lemon, then the syrup, and finally the cayenne. Not too pleasant. The taste tended to linger in my mouth and throat all day.
I tried to go running, which I normally do a few times a week, to see if I had increased energy. About half a mile into the run I developed some sort of clog in the middle of my chest and lungs and decided to head home. A block from our house I had to stop running and start walking because I was experiencing the abundance of saliva that pours into your mouth right before you throw up. A bunch of coughs and a few dry heaves later I was okay. I'm guessing that I was experiencing acid reflux for the first time in my life. I don't know if I'll try to run again with all of this lemon juice and cayenne pepper in my system.
I never really experienced hunger because my stomach was filled with liquid all day. I've never consumed so much liquid in a day in my life. I had cravings for putting something in my mouth and chewing. Other times I felt like I should be eating because I hadn't eaten yet and I'm used to eating by that time. The master cleanse book says that cravings are for specific foods or tastes. Hunger is when you want to eat a bowl of plain lettuce. No hunger yet.
The main thing that I took away from day 1 is the realization of how much of our society and culture revolves around food and beverage. It seems like every other commercial on T.V. is for some type of food or drink. People also like to eat and drink while hanging out, myself included.
Days 2, 3, and 7 are rumored to be the worst days. As I compose this on day 2, so far so good, but that might change. I'll update day 2 this evening.
Length of time to drink quart of saltwater: 15 minutes
Length of time between completion of salt water consumption and 1st trip to the bathroom: 20 minutes
Number of bowel movements: 4
Pounds lost from previous day: 1.2
One day down, nine to go. The day started with the delightful quart of saltwater. I don't like drinking things when I wake up. I really don't like drinking water when I wake up. I emphatically don't like drinking a quart of saltwater when I wake up. I only gagged a few times and managed to finish the entire amount. 20 minutes later I was off to the bathroom.
I'm going to have to wake up a little earlier than usual so that the majority of my bathroom visits will be completed before the market opens up. The last thing I want to happen is to have to choose between watching my stock positions and going to the bathroom. The market is so crazy in the first few minutes that lots of money can be made or lost in a very short time. I would prefer to be at peace while sitting on the toilet, eliminating toxins and waste.
The "lemonade" mixture does not taste that great. The layer of flavors tastes like a poorly mixed michelada. First you taste the lemon, then the syrup, and finally the cayenne. Not too pleasant. The taste tended to linger in my mouth and throat all day.
I tried to go running, which I normally do a few times a week, to see if I had increased energy. About half a mile into the run I developed some sort of clog in the middle of my chest and lungs and decided to head home. A block from our house I had to stop running and start walking because I was experiencing the abundance of saliva that pours into your mouth right before you throw up. A bunch of coughs and a few dry heaves later I was okay. I'm guessing that I was experiencing acid reflux for the first time in my life. I don't know if I'll try to run again with all of this lemon juice and cayenne pepper in my system.
I never really experienced hunger because my stomach was filled with liquid all day. I've never consumed so much liquid in a day in my life. I had cravings for putting something in my mouth and chewing. Other times I felt like I should be eating because I hadn't eaten yet and I'm used to eating by that time. The master cleanse book says that cravings are for specific foods or tastes. Hunger is when you want to eat a bowl of plain lettuce. No hunger yet.
The main thing that I took away from day 1 is the realization of how much of our society and culture revolves around food and beverage. It seems like every other commercial on T.V. is for some type of food or drink. People also like to eat and drink while hanging out, myself included.
Days 2, 3, and 7 are rumored to be the worst days. As I compose this on day 2, so far so good, but that might change. I'll update day 2 this evening.
Overview
I have decided to take part in the Master Cleanse. It is a system designed to cleanse the body of toxins that build up in one's intestines, colon, kidney, liver, etc.... Other benefits include weight loss, increased energy, and a "heightened sense of self."
Here's the gist of it:
6- 12 times daily drink a concoction consisting of
8 oz. water
2 tbsp. fresh squeezed organic lemon juice
2 tbsp. grade b organic maple syrup
1/10 tsp. or more cayenne pepper
Before you go to bed drink a cup of senna tea, an herbal laxative
When you wake up in the morning drink 1 qt. (32 oz.) of water mixed with 2 tsp. of non-iodized sea salt
Drink lots of water
Have multiple bowel movements, as they rid your body of all of the toxins
Sounds like fun, huh? There is no consumption of food or any other liquids besides what is listed about. The cleanse is supposed to last for 10 days. The longest I've ever gone without eating has been 3 days. I think that 10 is more. Once the cleanse is over you must "ease" your way back in to food. The first few day or so after is reserved for fruit juices. If your stomach can handle juice, you can move on to vegetable broth. Once your stomach can handle the broth you may move on to small quantities of raw fruits and vegetables. All in all, I'm looking at about 14 days of not eating solid food.
I had never heard of the master cleanse until a few weeks ago when a friend mentioned it to me. As I prepared for the cleanse and mentioned it to others, I was amazed at how many people had heard of it. As I was going through the checkout line at the grocery store with my 40+ lemons, 9 bottles of maple syrup, cayenne pepper, salt, and senna tea the cashier said, "I know what you're doing. Good luck, you'll need it." Damn her and her condescending ways.
Despite its benefits, I'm not really doing the cleanse for any of them. Yeah, fewer toxins and pounds and more energy will be great, but the cleanse will be more of a personal challenge than anything else. I just want to see if I can do it. I wish I were dedicating it to something noble, like the honor of starving people worldwide, but that was not my original intent so I'm not going to say that's my reason. I'm also not looking to resolve emotional issues from my past like a lot of the nut jobs who say that the cleanse has helped them to accomplish. Hippies are crazy, no doubt.
I started the cleanse on Monday, October 27. This blog will serve as an outlet to record my thoughts, feelings, and other, more personal, information. It won't be pretty, but it will be honest. Enjoy.
Here's the gist of it:
6- 12 times daily drink a concoction consisting of
8 oz. water
2 tbsp. fresh squeezed organic lemon juice
2 tbsp. grade b organic maple syrup
1/10 tsp. or more cayenne pepper
Before you go to bed drink a cup of senna tea, an herbal laxative
When you wake up in the morning drink 1 qt. (32 oz.) of water mixed with 2 tsp. of non-iodized sea salt
Drink lots of water
Have multiple bowel movements, as they rid your body of all of the toxins
Sounds like fun, huh? There is no consumption of food or any other liquids besides what is listed about. The cleanse is supposed to last for 10 days. The longest I've ever gone without eating has been 3 days. I think that 10 is more. Once the cleanse is over you must "ease" your way back in to food. The first few day or so after is reserved for fruit juices. If your stomach can handle juice, you can move on to vegetable broth. Once your stomach can handle the broth you may move on to small quantities of raw fruits and vegetables. All in all, I'm looking at about 14 days of not eating solid food.
I had never heard of the master cleanse until a few weeks ago when a friend mentioned it to me. As I prepared for the cleanse and mentioned it to others, I was amazed at how many people had heard of it. As I was going through the checkout line at the grocery store with my 40+ lemons, 9 bottles of maple syrup, cayenne pepper, salt, and senna tea the cashier said, "I know what you're doing. Good luck, you'll need it." Damn her and her condescending ways.
Despite its benefits, I'm not really doing the cleanse for any of them. Yeah, fewer toxins and pounds and more energy will be great, but the cleanse will be more of a personal challenge than anything else. I just want to see if I can do it. I wish I were dedicating it to something noble, like the honor of starving people worldwide, but that was not my original intent so I'm not going to say that's my reason. I'm also not looking to resolve emotional issues from my past like a lot of the nut jobs who say that the cleanse has helped them to accomplish. Hippies are crazy, no doubt.
I started the cleanse on Monday, October 27. This blog will serve as an outlet to record my thoughts, feelings, and other, more personal, information. It won't be pretty, but it will be honest. Enjoy.
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