Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Day 2, 10/28/08

Glasses of "lemonade" consumed: 9

Length of time to drink quart of saltwater: 7 minutes

Length of time between completion of salt water consumption and 1st trip to the bathroom: 5 minutes

Number of bowel movements: 5

Number of random objects expelled during said bowel movements: 0, but still hoping

Pounds lost from previous day: 2.4

Today was a pretty easy day. The saltwater was not as bad this morning, as evidenced by cutting my consumption time down by more than half. That doesn't mean that it's good though. My quick consumption also led to some quick excretion. I was ready to go before I even finished my salt water. Tempting fate by trying to control your bowels whilst drinking saltwater is something that I should probably never try again. Helen cleans up enough crap at work, so I highly doubt she'd be up for me waking her up to clean up me and my explosion on the floor. Knowing my luck, Butters would be dumb enough to come roll in it.

I started drinking my lemonade 2 doses at a time. I assume that this is legit because it's more about how many ounces you drink per day and not the individual servings, if that makes sense. You're supposed to average about 1 ounce of lemonade per 2 pounds of body weight. It is recommended to space them out so that you don't get hungry throughout the day. The multiple dose game plan accomplishes two things. First, it allows me to not feel full of liquid all day long. I can knock out two doses and give my stomach and bladder time to pass it. And pass it they do. Second, I don't have to spend as much time juicing lemons. When you have cats that like to scratch and bite, lemon juice on your wounded hands does not feel good.

No acid reflux today, but if I burp I taste cayenne pepper. Strenuous activity will still be delayed until my body gets used to it.

If day 3, which is supposed to be a bad one like day 2, is like today, then it should be a cakewalk. I know that it sounds like I'm showboating with 8 days left, but I feel like a guy with a flaming anus deserves a little slack. The book says that "hot" bowel movements are the toxins being expelled. It sure would be more comfortable if they were cool like a peppermint. Unfortunately, I'll have to settle for flaming bile.

3 comments:

Kevin Wilder said...

I've thought about doing this before (the cleanse diet, rather, not blogging about it). Sounds tough. Best to you, buddy.

mteph said...

what about poots?
noticed an increase in them too?

pooping 5 times in one day times is pretty amazing. is it an enjoyable poop or more like an urgent, rushed poop?

these are important questions and i figure, when else am i going to be able to ask you these personal bowel movement related questions...

Garrett said...

Kevin - Thanks for the encouragement. How about I continue to do this until I see you again?

Mteph - No increase in poots. In fact, there have been none at all. Anytime there's an urge I don't risk it and head to the water closet. As for the movements themselves, they are quick, usually urgent, and not very enjoyable.